I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
