All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
