yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
