Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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