im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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