When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
