At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Can I color on your dick again?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
