How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
