Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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