so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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