We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
