I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
