Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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