I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
