Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
