i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
