Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
