Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I look better un-naked...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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