escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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