i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
