if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize