I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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