I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize