i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
