Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
