Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's never too late to be topless.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
