no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
