i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
