She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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