I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
