So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize