the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
