Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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