She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize