insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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