every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
