i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize