The maid of honor just puked.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We are two peas in an std pod
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
