You just made me feel so damn special
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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