are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wanna passion pit in your ass
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
