Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
