you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
