Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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