I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
