I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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