Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
