Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Come on in and take your pants off
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