i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You've changed since you got that strap on
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
