TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
