this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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