Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
