Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
