I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
