Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize