I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
zippers are such a cool invention
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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