the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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