I wish you could order shots online.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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