i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
