Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
