Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize