Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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