Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
