I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
